how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I want to be your penis for a week.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
