She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize