And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
