she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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