So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
