nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
