Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
