We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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