I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
