It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
only you would photoshop your dick
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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