You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize