i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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