Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize