just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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