We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
