There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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