no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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