This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
