He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
