Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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