Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize