Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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