Small penises have feelings too.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
