She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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