He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
