in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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