you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
