Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
