And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
