Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
