dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
