Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
