I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize