it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
