Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Can Purell be used as lube?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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