It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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