i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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