Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
