I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
