She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
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