You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
