got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
