You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I didn't shave. On purpose
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
