if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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