8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
