It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I am midnight drunk by noon
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
