you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
