he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize