no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
