the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
