but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
