im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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