I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
