stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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