He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
