Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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