my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
