should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
