it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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