that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize